The More Things Change The More They Suck- Hello 2014

After an off-season of flashy acquisitions, such as swapping out one whifftastic former Washington Nationals first baseman for another, the Sux are a sexy pick to maybe finish third in the AL Central this year.

A comatose spring training punctuated by a slaughter rule loss to their Triple A team could not damper the enthusiasm, but alas the Kansas City Royals could and did.

Game 1
The Sux New Captain of Attitude Jeff Samardzija demonstrated what the new and improved Sux are all about in 2014, and it is giving up a run an inning and throwing at people after giving up home runs. The "Shark" as per usual for his career did not get any run support, but he gave the Royals plenty of run support over five or so laborious innings. Then the bullpen came in and new acquisitions Dan Jennings and Kyle Drabek went all Belisario and lit the place on fire as a 4-1 deficit ballooned into a 10-1 nut kicking in the span of like 10 minutes. I had stomach flu for this game and that was the highlight.

Game 2
Tyler Flowers gave ths Sux their first and only lead of the year with a early 3 run blast off of Royals starter Danny Duffy. Jose Quintana gave it right back an inning later though giving up a 3 run homer to Eric Hosmer. This game was notable for being excruciatingly long as I think we were 3 hours in by the fifth inning. The Royals and Sux traded runs for a while until the inevitable concession in the 8th inning when the Sux despite all their bullpen acquisitions in the offseason still somehow ended up having Zac Putnam on the mound in the 8th inning of a tie game. Lorenzo Cain's ninth hit of the game was a towering 2 run HR off Putnam to win the game and send the Sux to 0-2.

Game 3
The Sux offense continues to struggle, led by Adam Eaton and Melky Cabrera being reliable out machines in the first 2 spots of the lineup. John Danks pitched gamely yet badly exiting down 4-0 in the sixth inning following a home run by Salvador Perez. New big money closer David Robertson pitched in the 8th inning because there never is a bottom of the 9th when the Sux are on the road. The 0-3 Sux stagger home tomorrow to open the home portion of their already demolished season against a Twins team that has been outscored 15-0 so far this season. So at least we have a worthy opponent.