The More Things Change The More They Suck- Hello 2014
After an off-season of flashy acquisitions, such as swapping out one whifftastic former Washington Nationals first baseman for another, the Sux are a sexy pick to maybe finish third in the AL Central this year.
A comatose spring training punctuated by a slaughter rule loss to their Triple A team could not damper the enthusiasm, but alas the Kansas City Royals could and did.
Game 1
The Sux New Captain of Attitude Jeff Samardzija demonstrated what the new and improved Sux are all about in 2014, and it is giving up a run an inning and throwing at people after giving up home runs. The "Shark" as per usual for his career did not get any run support, but he gave the Royals plenty of run support over five or so laborious innings. Then the bullpen came in and new acquisitions Dan Jennings and Kyle Drabek went all Belisario and lit the place on fire as a 4-1 deficit ballooned into a 10-1 nut kicking in the span of like 10 minutes. I had stomach flu for this game and that was the highlight.
Game 2
Tyler Flowers gave ths Sux their first and only lead of the year with a early 3 run blast off of Royals starter Danny Duffy. Jose Quintana gave it right back an inning later though giving up a 3 run homer to Eric Hosmer. This game was notable for being excruciatingly long as I think we were 3 hours in by the fifth inning. The Royals and Sux traded runs for a while until the inevitable concession in the 8th inning when the Sux despite all their bullpen acquisitions in the offseason still somehow ended up having Zac Putnam on the mound in the 8th inning of a tie game. Lorenzo Cain's ninth hit of the game was a towering 2 run HR off Putnam to win the game and send the Sux to 0-2.
Game 3
The Sux offense continues to struggle, led by Adam Eaton and Melky Cabrera being reliable out machines in the first 2 spots of the lineup. John Danks pitched gamely yet badly exiting down 4-0 in the sixth inning following a home run by Salvador Perez. New big money closer David Robertson pitched in the 8th inning because there never is a bottom of the 9th when the Sux are on the road. The 0-3 Sux stagger home tomorrow to open the home portion of their already demolished season against a Twins team that has been outscored 15-0 so far this season. So at least we have a worthy opponent.
Thursday, April 9, 2015
Sunday, May 1, 2011
O Me... O My...O's v. Sux Games 2 and 3
Saturday
In this game the Orioles had a guy score from 2nd on a dropped 3rd strike. Can't really explain how, except it had a lot to do with Adam Dunn playing 1st base. Scoring from 2nd on a dropped third strike. Seriously does this even happen in Little League?
Sunday
Sux fall behind 6-1 as Gavin Floyd gives up 5 runs in like the 4th or 5th inning. They come back in the end to lose 6-4. Manager gives postgame press conference where he makes this sound like a monumental triumph of the human spirit that makes that 70 year old guy who pushes his paraplegic son in iron man triathalons look like a misanthropic man-pussy. Sux are now 10 games out of first place on May 1. At night manager does live broadcast from Cork N Kerry where he compares this Sox team to a Mexican Boxer, presumably one who has died of brain damage.
In this game the Orioles had a guy score from 2nd on a dropped 3rd strike. Can't really explain how, except it had a lot to do with Adam Dunn playing 1st base. Scoring from 2nd on a dropped third strike. Seriously does this even happen in Little League?
Sunday
Sux fall behind 6-1 as Gavin Floyd gives up 5 runs in like the 4th or 5th inning. They come back in the end to lose 6-4. Manager gives postgame press conference where he makes this sound like a monumental triumph of the human spirit that makes that 70 year old guy who pushes his paraplegic son in iron man triathalons look like a misanthropic man-pussy. Sux are now 10 games out of first place on May 1. At night manager does live broadcast from Cork N Kerry where he compares this Sox team to a Mexican Boxer, presumably one who has died of brain damage.
Friday, April 29, 2011
O My God...O's v. Sux Game 1
Tonight was the worst game the Sux have played all year..and that is really really saying something.
Things looked somewhat promising when they jumped out to an early 3-0 lead for their "ace" John Danks. But when your "ace" has 0 wins for the month of April, the value of such a lead is debatable. Danks struck out Mark Reynolds with 2 out in the 6th. Instead of ending the inning though, it opened the mouth of Hell. The inning didn't end there, the ball got past AJ and Reynolds got to first. Danks then lost his shit, threw 3 balls to Matt Weiters, then a strike that was deposited over the fence.
Littlebridge, who has my stamp of approval as one of the only guys in uniform who doesn't make me vomit my pancreas out my mouth, hit a home run in the bottom half of the inning to make it 5-4. Jesse Crain-Linebrink came in the next half inning and walked a whole bunch of people, and got an error from Alexei Ramirez on top of it, Chris Sale came in and walked more people as his case of Gordon Beckham Disease continues to worsen, more runs scored, then I started hitting the Sobieski. Seriously one of the worst innings I have ever seen in my life.
Things looked somewhat promising when they jumped out to an early 3-0 lead for their "ace" John Danks. But when your "ace" has 0 wins for the month of April, the value of such a lead is debatable. Danks struck out Mark Reynolds with 2 out in the 6th. Instead of ending the inning though, it opened the mouth of Hell. The inning didn't end there, the ball got past AJ and Reynolds got to first. Danks then lost his shit, threw 3 balls to Matt Weiters, then a strike that was deposited over the fence.
Littlebridge, who has my stamp of approval as one of the only guys in uniform who doesn't make me vomit my pancreas out my mouth, hit a home run in the bottom half of the inning to make it 5-4. Jesse Crain-Linebrink came in the next half inning and walked a whole bunch of people, and got an error from Alexei Ramirez on top of it, Chris Sale came in and walked more people as his case of Gordon Beckham Disease continues to worsen, more runs scored, then I started hitting the Sobieski. Seriously one of the worst innings I have ever seen in my life.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Sox v. Yankees Game 4
- The season crippling road trip will end with a big kick in the vagina for the Sux, as they are getting Gomorrahized 8-0 in the 5th inning. Someone has switched Edwin Jackson back to "horrible". Apparently he can't find his slider. Maybe he should try looking in 2009 for it.
-The road trip ends with a 3-8 record, and it should have been worse than that. The Sux return home to 28,000 empty seats tomorrow night to begin a 3 game weekend set with Buck Showalter's Ex-Cub All Stars. Felix the Pie is preparing for a monster weekend.
-The road trip ends with a 3-8 record, and it should have been worse than that. The Sux return home to 28,000 empty seats tomorrow night to begin a 3 game weekend set with Buck Showalter's Ex-Cub All Stars. Felix the Pie is preparing for a monster weekend.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Sox v. Yankees Game 3
I was wrong a couple days ago about Bartolo Colon shutting out the Sux. He gave up 1 run over 8 innings. He apparently is over the death of Michael Jackson. Mark Buehrle gave up a 3 run homer to Robinson Cano in the first inning, and when you haven't scored more than 3 runs in any of your last 6 games, that's pretty much slaughter rule right there. Ozzie Guillen got kicked out of the game in the first inning, hopefully he used the day off to scour Monster.com for a new hitting coach.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Sox v. Yankees Game 2
- A little late to the TV tonight..we're already in the fifth inning. How we doin?
- Getting shut out by Ivan Nova and his 7+ ERA...splendid.
- Gavin Floyd pitching his gigantic ass off...only 1 hit given up, but its a HR to Robinson Cano. Sux losing 100-0. Or wait, 1-0. May as well be 100-0.
- Alexis leads off with a single, followed by a mighty 310 foot flyout for AJ, which is the farthest I think I've seen him hit the ball this year.
- Now its time for Gordon Beckham and his pitching wedge.
- Gustavo Molina has Rios thrown out by 10 feet at second base, but Cano DROPS THE BALL..(picture Juan Pierre DROPPING THE BALL when you read that, and Hawk saying HE DROPS THE BALL)
- Man in scoring position!
- Had to put baby down to bed...Sox apparently scored, then gave he run right back. Danks and Floyd just refuse to win. Now 2-1 Yankees top of 6th.
- I'm beginning to sense a pattern here in Sux at bats. They do not like swinging at navel high pitches over the middle of the plate. Throw them a bouncing cricket type offspeed pitch though, and they cannot control themselves.
- Very nice 6th inning btw. Alexei leads off with the single, then the 3-4-5 hitters can't get him off first base. Nova threw Adam Dunn two pitches in his AB that he should have hit 600 feet, but he didn't swing at them. Oh the OBP!
- At this point I abandoned the Sux for Bulls and Nyquil. It appears the Sux only play well in Blurry Vision...as after they were kicked off the HD CSN+ plus channel by the Blackhawks, they moved over to Soviet Definition and then the out of focus magic started. Paul Konerko hit a 2R HR in the 8th off the beleaguered Rafael Soriano to give the Sux the lead 3-2. The 9th inning looked like sure disaster, and it only took 3 pitchers to get thru it, none of whom were effective (although Gavin Floyd gets a pass for pitching 8 good innings before that).
Brent (Brett? Brent? I don't know) Lillibridge made 2 amazing catches in RF on potentially game winning screaming liners that Mark Teixeira and Robinson Cano hit the piss out of to save the game. Sux have won 2 in a row in Yankee Stadium, and are 2-0 since I've started the bloog. Who says negativity does not get results?
- Getting shut out by Ivan Nova and his 7+ ERA...splendid.
- Gavin Floyd pitching his gigantic ass off...only 1 hit given up, but its a HR to Robinson Cano. Sux losing 100-0. Or wait, 1-0. May as well be 100-0.
- Alexis leads off with a single, followed by a mighty 310 foot flyout for AJ, which is the farthest I think I've seen him hit the ball this year.
- Now its time for Gordon Beckham and his pitching wedge.
- Gustavo Molina has Rios thrown out by 10 feet at second base, but Cano DROPS THE BALL..(picture Juan Pierre DROPPING THE BALL when you read that, and Hawk saying HE DROPS THE BALL)
- Man in scoring position!
- Had to put baby down to bed...Sox apparently scored, then gave he run right back. Danks and Floyd just refuse to win. Now 2-1 Yankees top of 6th.
- I'm beginning to sense a pattern here in Sux at bats. They do not like swinging at navel high pitches over the middle of the plate. Throw them a bouncing cricket type offspeed pitch though, and they cannot control themselves.
- Very nice 6th inning btw. Alexei leads off with the single, then the 3-4-5 hitters can't get him off first base. Nova threw Adam Dunn two pitches in his AB that he should have hit 600 feet, but he didn't swing at them. Oh the OBP!
- At this point I abandoned the Sux for Bulls and Nyquil. It appears the Sux only play well in Blurry Vision...as after they were kicked off the HD CSN+ plus channel by the Blackhawks, they moved over to Soviet Definition and then the out of focus magic started. Paul Konerko hit a 2R HR in the 8th off the beleaguered Rafael Soriano to give the Sux the lead 3-2. The 9th inning looked like sure disaster, and it only took 3 pitchers to get thru it, none of whom were effective (although Gavin Floyd gets a pass for pitching 8 good innings before that).
Brent (Brett? Brent? I don't know) Lillibridge made 2 amazing catches in RF on potentially game winning screaming liners that Mark Teixeira and Robinson Cano hit the piss out of to save the game. Sux have won 2 in a row in Yankee Stadium, and are 2-0 since I've started the bloog. Who says negativity does not get results?
Monday, April 25, 2011
Live Pain Log.. Act 3 Sux v. Yankees 4/25/11
ooo theres one of adam dunn's oh so valuable walks 7:52 PM
his obp is amazing
now alex rios can snooze thru this ab 7:52 PM
and aj will ground out to the second baseman 7:52 PM
whooooaaa 7:54 PM
baby 7:54 PM
base hit 7:54 PM
only took him 23 tries to get a hit 7:54 PM
and there's aj's double play gb to th second baseman...first pitch...
being a prophet ain't easy
- NO hitter gone. Time to get Tony Pena up.
- 2-0 Sux after Paulie's 2 out RBI single...Thornton stomping on corn in the bullpen to produce biofuels needed to torch this lead in the bottom half
El Dook!e says:
santos going for the 5 out save? 8:41 PM
hawk says the only way to fix it is to stick with somebody 8:42
My reply:
yes like they did in 2005 when they had 3 different guys be closer 8:42 PM
they should have stuck with shingo all year 8:42 P
- Santos gets the 4 out save despite a shaky start to the ninth. Ryan Bukvich's phone will not be ringing tonight.
- Phil Humber, the Chocolate Factory is all yours.
- Now all we have to do is give up 1 run or less every game, and we are right back in this thing.
his obp is amazing
now alex rios can snooze thru this ab 7:52 PM
and aj will ground out to the second baseman 7:52 PM
whooooaaa 7:54 PM
baby 7:54 PM
base hit 7:54 PM
only took him 23 tries to get a hit 7:54 PM
and there's aj's double play gb to th second baseman...first pitch...
being a prophet ain't easy
- NO hitter gone. Time to get Tony Pena up.
- 2-0 Sux after Paulie's 2 out RBI single...Thornton stomping on corn in the bullpen to produce biofuels needed to torch this lead in the bottom half
El Dook!e says:
santos going for the 5 out save? 8:41 PM
hawk says the only way to fix it is to stick with somebody 8:42
My reply:
yes like they did in 2005 when they had 3 different guys be closer 8:42 PM
they should have stuck with shingo all year 8:42 P
- Santos gets the 4 out save despite a shaky start to the ninth. Ryan Bukvich's phone will not be ringing tonight.
- Phil Humber, the Chocolate Factory is all yours.
- Now all we have to do is give up 1 run or less every game, and we are right back in this thing.
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