Tonight was the worst game the Sux have played all year..and that is really really saying something.
Things looked somewhat promising when they jumped out to an early 3-0 lead for their "ace" John Danks. But when your "ace" has 0 wins for the month of April, the value of such a lead is debatable. Danks struck out Mark Reynolds with 2 out in the 6th. Instead of ending the inning though, it opened the mouth of Hell. The inning didn't end there, the ball got past AJ and Reynolds got to first. Danks then lost his shit, threw 3 balls to Matt Weiters, then a strike that was deposited over the fence.
Littlebridge, who has my stamp of approval as one of the only guys in uniform who doesn't make me vomit my pancreas out my mouth, hit a home run in the bottom half of the inning to make it 5-4. Jesse Crain-Linebrink came in the next half inning and walked a whole bunch of people, and got an error from Alexei Ramirez on top of it, Chris Sale came in and walked more people as his case of Gordon Beckham Disease continues to worsen, more runs scored, then I started hitting the Sobieski. Seriously one of the worst innings I have ever seen in my life.
Friday, April 29, 2011
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Sox v. Yankees Game 4
- The season crippling road trip will end with a big kick in the vagina for the Sux, as they are getting Gomorrahized 8-0 in the 5th inning. Someone has switched Edwin Jackson back to "horrible". Apparently he can't find his slider. Maybe he should try looking in 2009 for it.
-The road trip ends with a 3-8 record, and it should have been worse than that. The Sux return home to 28,000 empty seats tomorrow night to begin a 3 game weekend set with Buck Showalter's Ex-Cub All Stars. Felix the Pie is preparing for a monster weekend.
-The road trip ends with a 3-8 record, and it should have been worse than that. The Sux return home to 28,000 empty seats tomorrow night to begin a 3 game weekend set with Buck Showalter's Ex-Cub All Stars. Felix the Pie is preparing for a monster weekend.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Sox v. Yankees Game 3
I was wrong a couple days ago about Bartolo Colon shutting out the Sux. He gave up 1 run over 8 innings. He apparently is over the death of Michael Jackson. Mark Buehrle gave up a 3 run homer to Robinson Cano in the first inning, and when you haven't scored more than 3 runs in any of your last 6 games, that's pretty much slaughter rule right there. Ozzie Guillen got kicked out of the game in the first inning, hopefully he used the day off to scour Monster.com for a new hitting coach.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Sox v. Yankees Game 2
- A little late to the TV tonight..we're already in the fifth inning. How we doin?
- Getting shut out by Ivan Nova and his 7+ ERA...splendid.
- Gavin Floyd pitching his gigantic ass off...only 1 hit given up, but its a HR to Robinson Cano. Sux losing 100-0. Or wait, 1-0. May as well be 100-0.
- Alexis leads off with a single, followed by a mighty 310 foot flyout for AJ, which is the farthest I think I've seen him hit the ball this year.
- Now its time for Gordon Beckham and his pitching wedge.
- Gustavo Molina has Rios thrown out by 10 feet at second base, but Cano DROPS THE BALL..(picture Juan Pierre DROPPING THE BALL when you read that, and Hawk saying HE DROPS THE BALL)
- Man in scoring position!
- Had to put baby down to bed...Sox apparently scored, then gave he run right back. Danks and Floyd just refuse to win. Now 2-1 Yankees top of 6th.
- I'm beginning to sense a pattern here in Sux at bats. They do not like swinging at navel high pitches over the middle of the plate. Throw them a bouncing cricket type offspeed pitch though, and they cannot control themselves.
- Very nice 6th inning btw. Alexei leads off with the single, then the 3-4-5 hitters can't get him off first base. Nova threw Adam Dunn two pitches in his AB that he should have hit 600 feet, but he didn't swing at them. Oh the OBP!
- At this point I abandoned the Sux for Bulls and Nyquil. It appears the Sux only play well in Blurry Vision...as after they were kicked off the HD CSN+ plus channel by the Blackhawks, they moved over to Soviet Definition and then the out of focus magic started. Paul Konerko hit a 2R HR in the 8th off the beleaguered Rafael Soriano to give the Sux the lead 3-2. The 9th inning looked like sure disaster, and it only took 3 pitchers to get thru it, none of whom were effective (although Gavin Floyd gets a pass for pitching 8 good innings before that).
Brent (Brett? Brent? I don't know) Lillibridge made 2 amazing catches in RF on potentially game winning screaming liners that Mark Teixeira and Robinson Cano hit the piss out of to save the game. Sux have won 2 in a row in Yankee Stadium, and are 2-0 since I've started the bloog. Who says negativity does not get results?
- Getting shut out by Ivan Nova and his 7+ ERA...splendid.
- Gavin Floyd pitching his gigantic ass off...only 1 hit given up, but its a HR to Robinson Cano. Sux losing 100-0. Or wait, 1-0. May as well be 100-0.
- Alexis leads off with a single, followed by a mighty 310 foot flyout for AJ, which is the farthest I think I've seen him hit the ball this year.
- Now its time for Gordon Beckham and his pitching wedge.
- Gustavo Molina has Rios thrown out by 10 feet at second base, but Cano DROPS THE BALL..(picture Juan Pierre DROPPING THE BALL when you read that, and Hawk saying HE DROPS THE BALL)
- Man in scoring position!
- Had to put baby down to bed...Sox apparently scored, then gave he run right back. Danks and Floyd just refuse to win. Now 2-1 Yankees top of 6th.
- I'm beginning to sense a pattern here in Sux at bats. They do not like swinging at navel high pitches over the middle of the plate. Throw them a bouncing cricket type offspeed pitch though, and they cannot control themselves.
- Very nice 6th inning btw. Alexei leads off with the single, then the 3-4-5 hitters can't get him off first base. Nova threw Adam Dunn two pitches in his AB that he should have hit 600 feet, but he didn't swing at them. Oh the OBP!
- At this point I abandoned the Sux for Bulls and Nyquil. It appears the Sux only play well in Blurry Vision...as after they were kicked off the HD CSN+ plus channel by the Blackhawks, they moved over to Soviet Definition and then the out of focus magic started. Paul Konerko hit a 2R HR in the 8th off the beleaguered Rafael Soriano to give the Sux the lead 3-2. The 9th inning looked like sure disaster, and it only took 3 pitchers to get thru it, none of whom were effective (although Gavin Floyd gets a pass for pitching 8 good innings before that).
Brent (Brett? Brent? I don't know) Lillibridge made 2 amazing catches in RF on potentially game winning screaming liners that Mark Teixeira and Robinson Cano hit the piss out of to save the game. Sux have won 2 in a row in Yankee Stadium, and are 2-0 since I've started the bloog. Who says negativity does not get results?
Monday, April 25, 2011
Live Pain Log.. Act 3 Sux v. Yankees 4/25/11
ooo theres one of adam dunn's oh so valuable walks 7:52 PM
his obp is amazing
now alex rios can snooze thru this ab 7:52 PM
and aj will ground out to the second baseman 7:52 PM
whooooaaa 7:54 PM
baby 7:54 PM
base hit 7:54 PM
only took him 23 tries to get a hit 7:54 PM
and there's aj's double play gb to th second baseman...first pitch...
being a prophet ain't easy
- NO hitter gone. Time to get Tony Pena up.
- 2-0 Sux after Paulie's 2 out RBI single...Thornton stomping on corn in the bullpen to produce biofuels needed to torch this lead in the bottom half
El Dook!e says:
santos going for the 5 out save? 8:41 PM
hawk says the only way to fix it is to stick with somebody 8:42
My reply:
yes like they did in 2005 when they had 3 different guys be closer 8:42 PM
they should have stuck with shingo all year 8:42 P
- Santos gets the 4 out save despite a shaky start to the ninth. Ryan Bukvich's phone will not be ringing tonight.
- Phil Humber, the Chocolate Factory is all yours.
- Now all we have to do is give up 1 run or less every game, and we are right back in this thing.
his obp is amazing
now alex rios can snooze thru this ab 7:52 PM
and aj will ground out to the second baseman 7:52 PM
whooooaaa 7:54 PM
baby 7:54 PM
base hit 7:54 PM
only took him 23 tries to get a hit 7:54 PM
and there's aj's double play gb to th second baseman...first pitch...
being a prophet ain't easy
- NO hitter gone. Time to get Tony Pena up.
- 2-0 Sux after Paulie's 2 out RBI single...Thornton stomping on corn in the bullpen to produce biofuels needed to torch this lead in the bottom half
El Dook!e says:
santos going for the 5 out save? 8:41 PM
hawk says the only way to fix it is to stick with somebody 8:42
My reply:
yes like they did in 2005 when they had 3 different guys be closer 8:42 PM
they should have stuck with shingo all year 8:42 P
- Santos gets the 4 out save despite a shaky start to the ninth. Ryan Bukvich's phone will not be ringing tonight.
- Phil Humber, the Chocolate Factory is all yours.
- Now all we have to do is give up 1 run or less every game, and we are right back in this thing.
Live Pain Log...Act 2 Sux v. Yankees 4/25/11
| hmmmm...man on 3rd with one out for alfonso | 7:09 PM |
| lets see how this one plays out | 7:09 PM |
| they are shifting for adam dunn | 7:09 PM |
| they should all shift into the catchers mitt | 7:09 PM |
| hey a run! | 7:10 PM |
| good job brian anderson! | |
stone says "burnett has had poor command of just about everything but yet he's only given up one" 7:12 PM
what he does not realize 7:12 PM
is for the white sox 7:12 PM
that is a lot 7:12 PM
what? a caught fly ball in the gap? i was expecting quentin to burst into flames going after the ball 7:22 PM
with the sound of the spontaneous combustion waking up rios from his nap 7:23 PM
gordon beckham has the bat speed of a drunken 10 year old 7:29 PM
girl 7:29 PM
brent morel 7:29 PM
makes herbert perry 7:29 PM
look like alex rodriguez 7:29 PM
hope juan brought the sunday paper up there this time 7:38 PM
nope 7:38 PM
saturday 7:38 PM
they play him like they play the girls in co rec softball 7:38 PM
3 pitches 2 outs 7:38 PM
aj burnett 7:39 PM
looks like the man who invented crystal meth 7:39 PM
nice inning 7:40 PM
lasted 6 pitches 7:40 PM
he is no hitting the yankees thru 5 2/3 7:46 PM
no hitting the yankees thru 6 7:46 PM
ladies and gentlemen 7:46 PM
your new messiah 7:46 PM
humberdido
Live Pain Log..Act 1 Sux v. Yankees 4/25/11
| the white sux have to keep losing | 6:32 PM |
| it will give our site momentum | 6:32 PM |
| here is keenys press conf | 6:34 PM |
| http://blogs. | 6:34 PM |
| first two men on | 6:40 PM |
| next 3 men | 6:40 PM |
| not on | 6:40 PM |
| i love watching juan pierre try to bunt | 6:51 PM |
| its almost as good as watching him to try to catch a fly ball | 6:52 PM |
| he is electrifying | 6:52 PM |
| i cant wait until bartolo colon shuts them out on wed | 6:52 PM |
| ahh yes | 7:00 PM |
| the patented juan pierre sacrifice bunt with nobody on base | |
K Smoov to Address Angry Mob
I'm not sure if this has happened yet, but Kenny Williams, fresh off his coup d'etat acquisitions of Jake Peavy and Adam Dunn, has promised to answer any and all questions about his team and why it makes the very difficult task of getting shut out every day look so easy today in a pre-game press conference in New York.
All the questions
Will
Be
Answered!
My guess is that this all has something to do with Gordon Beckham being knocked unconscious and floated down into a glowing cave. That's just a theory though.
After the press conference, Nick Swisher starts hitting home runs off us.
All the questions
Will
Be
Answered!
My guess is that this all has something to do with Gordon Beckham being knocked unconscious and floated down into a glowing cave. That's just a theory though.
After the press conference, Nick Swisher starts hitting home runs off us.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Worst Eastern Ever
Despite Ozzie Guillen's optimistic Twitter post which basically promised that today was the first day of the rest of the White Sox lives, the unwatchable death march trudged on today with a 3-0 loss to the Tigers, their second shutout in as many days, completing a 3 game sweep that saw them score 1 run in 27 innings.
That's now, God let me get calculator, 11 of the 67 or so losses you are allowed to have and still have a playoff team that they've used up in the last 2 weeks. Despite a payroll north of $120M, they have the worst record in MLB.
It's only April, you may say. BABIP and VORP and UZR and you're an overreacting moron, others might say. Perhaps all those things are true, but let's look at some disturbing facts about the state of the franchise. (Note these may or may not be facts, I'll leave the fact checking to the sabremetricians, as I don't give a shit about sabremetrics or facts, which I think is why I am a White Sox fan, because they run their franchise by the seat of their pants, which is appealing to me)
1. It's well documented that the Minnesota Twins own the Sox. But now they've also lost 9 in a row to the Tigers. How you are supposed to win a division that contains two teams who you lose to every time you play them is beyond me. I'll leave that to the sabremetricians to figure out.
2. Every year it seems impossible that the whole team can go into a slump for an extended period of time. Yet every year they do. This isn't "hitting" coach Greg Walker's fault though. Any one hoping for him to be fired, give it up. At this point he's closer to getting a lifetime contract than getting fired, because if he is still here despite this shit happening year after year, he will always be here.
3. The rotation has nobody who can step up and shut another team down. John Danks is the closest, but his specialty is pitching well enough for you to lose 3-2.
4. The outfield defense is such a circus, it should have a tent over it. Juan Pierre has straight up dropped 3 fly balls already this year, and seems to be trying to catch the ball with his face. Alex Rios is doing interpretive dance routines in pursuit of fly balls. Carlos Quentin, bless his soul, dives at soft liners like he is gunning for reconstructive shoulder surgery.
5. Alfonso Dunn's grueling offseason preparation which consists of in his own words not picking up a bat has produced 23 strikeouts in 52 at bats, and an avg/obp/slg line that would be replacement level if he were a pitcher.
6, And if all this is not depressing enough for you, there is the tragic sight of watching Gordon Beckham try to have a successful at bat.
I did not mention the closer situation, where I think the Sox are 1 for 8 in save situations or something in that neighborhood, because its been 3 weeks or so since we've had a save situation, so fuck it.
On the bright side, the Sox head to the Bronx this week, so there is no bright side.
That's now, God let me get calculator, 11 of the 67 or so losses you are allowed to have and still have a playoff team that they've used up in the last 2 weeks. Despite a payroll north of $120M, they have the worst record in MLB.
It's only April, you may say. BABIP and VORP and UZR and you're an overreacting moron, others might say. Perhaps all those things are true, but let's look at some disturbing facts about the state of the franchise. (Note these may or may not be facts, I'll leave the fact checking to the sabremetricians, as I don't give a shit about sabremetrics or facts, which I think is why I am a White Sox fan, because they run their franchise by the seat of their pants, which is appealing to me)
1. It's well documented that the Minnesota Twins own the Sox. But now they've also lost 9 in a row to the Tigers. How you are supposed to win a division that contains two teams who you lose to every time you play them is beyond me. I'll leave that to the sabremetricians to figure out.
2. Every year it seems impossible that the whole team can go into a slump for an extended period of time. Yet every year they do. This isn't "hitting" coach Greg Walker's fault though. Any one hoping for him to be fired, give it up. At this point he's closer to getting a lifetime contract than getting fired, because if he is still here despite this shit happening year after year, he will always be here.
3. The rotation has nobody who can step up and shut another team down. John Danks is the closest, but his specialty is pitching well enough for you to lose 3-2.
4. The outfield defense is such a circus, it should have a tent over it. Juan Pierre has straight up dropped 3 fly balls already this year, and seems to be trying to catch the ball with his face. Alex Rios is doing interpretive dance routines in pursuit of fly balls. Carlos Quentin, bless his soul, dives at soft liners like he is gunning for reconstructive shoulder surgery.
5. Alfonso Dunn's grueling offseason preparation which consists of in his own words not picking up a bat has produced 23 strikeouts in 52 at bats, and an avg/obp/slg line that would be replacement level if he were a pitcher.
6, And if all this is not depressing enough for you, there is the tragic sight of watching Gordon Beckham try to have a successful at bat.
I did not mention the closer situation, where I think the Sox are 1 for 8 in save situations or something in that neighborhood, because its been 3 weeks or so since we've had a save situation, so fuck it.
On the bright side, the Sox head to the Bronx this week, so there is no bright side.
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